Shocking...

Of all the matches I have seen at the Edens, today was by far the most disappointing and what disappointed me more than the poor performance of the side was the attitude and the behaviour of the crowd.

Just because Saurav Ganguly wasn't playing, these buggers were trying to show that they are supporting South Africa to prove that without him the Indian team is impotent. The crowd reaction to Sachin's and Dravid's dismissals showed it all. They clapped and cheered. I am not supporting their poor performance, but I don't think the public has the right to boo people who have contributed such a lot to Indian cricket. Not to forget that in his last appearance at Eden gardens, Dravid had scored back to back hundreds. Why did you cheer him then and boo him today? Just because he has taken over the captaincy of the team that till recently belonged to Sourav?

It basically proves that these people put individuals above the team. Sourav had been shown the boot on the back of a lean patch that had continued for so long that it wasn't a patch anymore. The international arena is not the place where you try and regain form. And now that he has performed he has been selected for the test team. What's wrong with that? It's 100% fair play.

Above all, a pitch condusive to pace ballers had been prepared so that Indian batsmen have problems and the absence of Saurav is felt ... this is heights of narrow mindedness. CAB should be penalised for this by not holding any more matches here for sometime.

I am sorry that I was a part of such an unsporting crowd today.

A few hundred spent (wisely)

Went to Crossword today. Bought 3 books... total damages = Rs. 784/-. Spending on books give me great satisfaction ... I don't know why. I feel as if the money has been invested in some permanent asset. I may get back to the books raraely, but still, a glance at my bookshelf, with all its wealth, gives me tremendous pleasure.

The past few months have been especially good and about 7-8 books have been added to the shelf, substituting some stupid sidney sheldon books. Books that have been added include "To kill a mocking bird", "those days", "first light", "my exepriments with truth", an R.K. Laxman book, "Catch 22", "Kim" and a couple of other books left behind by bhaiya, which I am yet to read.

Anyways, as I said, today I bought 3 books. "Prothom Aalo", by Sunil Gangopadhyay, which is the original of "First Light", mentioned above. Mummy did not want to read the translation, so I decided to give her the original as her birthday gift (her b'day happened to be yesterday). In fact I am in the process of reading "First Light" now and am enjoying it thoroughly. It's been an enlightening exeprience, to say the least. I was quite ignorant about the rich cultural heritage of our Country and especially Bengal. This book, along with its prequel, "Those Days", has helped to dispel this ignorance to some extend.

The second book is "It's not about a bike", the biography of Lance Armstrong. This book was recommended to me by bhaiya. (In fact, Those Days and First Light were also his recommendations) Whatever little he told me about this person really impressed me and I wanted to know more about him.

Finally, the 3rd one is a pictoral biography of Sachin Tendulkar. I would not have bought it hadn't it been for the attractive price. The book originally worth 495/- was being offered at 199/-. I couldn't resist the temptation. Everyone knows how much I admire him. Even though, some people may consider it a waste of money, I don't care.

Anyways, I hope i find time to read all these books. Right now I have 6-7 books queued up. But I have plenty of time. Once I get over with "First Light", which I guess will take another 2 days, I shall start with Lance Armstrong. I shall try and write a review of First Light and if it comes out well, it may be one of my next posts!

Desiderata

My brother had sent me this write up by Max Ehrmannn some years ago, but then it had seemed full of worthless fundaes. But now when I read it again, i found it to be so beautiful...

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, andwhatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

-- Max Ehrmannn

Confused and lost

As I laid my head on the pillow, I heard the sound of a train … thanks to the stillness of the night … I liked it for no apparent reason … there seemed to be something romantic about it … I felt like writing a poem

As the last ray of the sun
Dip into the endless seas
Darkness falls enchanting – fearful
About the night there’s something beautiful

Didn’t come out according to my liking … I stopped there … I did not want to write a poem anymore … but I did not want to sleep as well. I just sat on my chair with my study lamp turned on, stared outside the window and let my thoughts go astray…

We are just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
Wish you were here…

Am I also just a lost soul? Am I losing myself in the circular pattern of life or am I moving ahead? What do I want? Am I fearless? No I am not… but what is it that I am afraid of? I don’t know…

I tried to stop thinking, but I couldn’t.

We always wait for drastic changes in life, but they never come. It’s always the same. I used to think that once my exams get over, my life shall change drastically, I shall do this, I shall do that … but here I am doing almost nothing all day. Just lazing time away … (that is a drastic change in a way) … but still I can’t quench my thirst. Probably there is so much to do that in the confusion I am ending up doing nothing (or just writing blogs each day).

A tribute to a great man

Few people have the luck of growing up beneath the shadows of a great man and one such lucky person is I. No points for guessing who the great man is ... who else but Mama.

I had wanted to write something about him from the day I started my blog, but now when he has been selected to receive an award from the President for the 2nd time, I decided that it is high time my blog is decorated with a tribute to the king of jewels... the diamond shining brightly amidst the terrors of darkness … enlightening our lives…

The reason I couldn’t write about him earlier was that I really didn’t know where to start … there is so much I can write about him that I get lost.

If a physically challenged person leads a normal life then people say that it is quite an achievement, but here is a man who leads a supernormal life in spite of being blind and the most amazing thing is that you won’t realize that he is blind even when you have been face to face with him for quite sometime.

He is an epitome of hard work and determination. Even we have our share of problems while appearing for Chartered Accountancy Examinations and it is absolutely unimaginable how he could complete the course and not just that … he has gone on to become a very well known Chartered Accountant, with a number of books to his credit as well, one of which has won the Literary Award from the Ministry of Finance.

I have had the luck of spending a lot of time with him and I have learnt a lot from him. Principally, he is a very upright man and he can never sacrifice his principles for anything. His management capabilities are evident from the fact that he manages a petrol pump single handedly, in spite of this limitation, and this petrol pump is one of the premier Indian Oil outlets of the city … no mean achievement. As an income tax practitioner, his knowledge of the law is astute and he can turn any case in his favour. It is absolutely impossible to defeat him in an argument … be it a matter of law or be it a matter of cricket.

But the most amazing thing about him is his thirst for accumulating knowledge and spreading knowledge. He is a man who can learn from the lowest and teach the highest. He won’t even mind learning how to clean a drain from a sweeper. From medicine to engineering, from cricket to food, he takes interest in everything and he strives to know more about everything. They say that knowledge is the real light and though nature has been very unkind in taking light away from his eyes, he has lit the light of knowledge within his soul.

He has won innumerable awards from various organizations, but in spite of these achievements, he remains modest and maintains a low profile. When he talks to us, he gets down to our level and talks to us like a friend. Often he will call us and we shall spend long hours chatting on all kinds of worthless matters. He yearns for our company and will not let us go easily. He is an ocean of love – he has got love for everyone around him. It is not for no reason that when I broke my head as a 2 years old kid, I refused to get my head stitched unless he came and took me in his lap.

His ability to solve any kind of problem is just amazing. From cars to computers, from official matters to matters of police, from plumbing problems to electric problems, he has got the solution for everything. Whenever we are in any sort of trouble, the first person whom we contact is he. We know that once a matter comes to his knowledge, we can stop worrying about it because he will take the matter in his hands and deal with it accordingly.

I could go on and on writing about him. He is more than a father figure to me. He is my ideal – if I could achieve even an iota of what he has, I shall consider myself successful… hats off to the man who personifies the saying “Where there is a will, there is a way”. No obstacle can stop you if you are determined to achieve your goal.

Mama … you are my source of inspiration … I shall always remain indebted to you for whatever you have taught me…

Year end review

It's been more than one year now since I published this blog and though it became dormant at times, I did manage to post a few blogs and I have enjoyed blogging even though some of my write ups at best can be said to be average.

My favourite bit of blogging was in April - May, when the bug of the poet got into me and I ended up posting 4-5 poems in a very short span of time. The poems may not be too hi-fi n all, but still I enjoyed writing them and am somewhat proud of them.

My favourite blog must be "Of crushes and emotions". While I was writing that I really felt that I was being able to express my feelings and I really loved the begining of the blog. In fact I thought that it was quite a pro-type beginning. Also, it was taken very sportingly by the addressee and that pleased me! As for the situation now ... she has become a much better friend of mine than she was that time. I guess we know each other much better now. That was all I had wanted from her and I got that ... so I am pretty happy!!!

Next in line must be the blog I wrote on Mahatma Gandhi. The very fact that Bhaiya said that it was "a well written essay", convinced me that it must indeed be well written because he is one person who'll never compliment me unless I really deserve it. I saw the movie "Gandhi" some time ago and the movie did much to strengthen my convictions. His courage and determination is awe inspiring. I realised that one who follows the path of righteousness need not be afraid of anything ... he is the strongest person irrespective of his dimensions. People may say that honesty is no longer the best policy but at the end, only an honest person will be able to look into his own eyes in the mirror ... and that is what really counts.

As for my first blog, in which i wrote about myself, I don't think I have changed much. I still have quite the same outlook. Only that I read quite a few books this year, the best of which were "Those Days" and "To Kill a Mocking Bird".

Among the poems I think I like all of them... each of my poems speaks out what I felt at that point of time. I think I went through a bit of a low that time. I wasn't exactly happy ... I don't know why. Even among the company of my friends I felt estranged. I wanted to run away from everyone. "The string of life" conveys exactly that.

I felt sick of liking someone, who, at that point of time, I thought, din't like my company at all... I wrote "The flickering candle".

I felt extremmely lonely on the terrace one evening and as i walked, I knitted the poem "The koel's song" in my mind and I came back home and gave shape to it. "The Crazy diamond" was also written in similar circumstances when I was trying to convince myself that I need to care a damn for others and move on in life - as long as I knew that i was doing no wrong I shouldn't care whether things were going right for me or not.

The reason why I am not writing poems anymore is probably because I am very happy (touch wood) . Most poets are sad men ... so I am happy that I am not writing poems anymore.

Being able to give word to one's thought is an art and I want to develop it. Blogging helped me do that to some extend over the last one year...!!! I hope I keep writing something every week at least - whatever I feel at that point of time - I want to write that .... I hope I succeed.

The sweet tastes of freedom

At last the days for which I had been waiting for have come … post CA inter, lazy n fun filled days. After 3-4 months I don’t have to think about what I will have to study once I get up in the morning while going to sleep. Neither do I have to wonder whether going out for a movie or a lunch with friends will be feasible or not… I’ve been left free to bask in the winter sun … enjoy the mid day siestas … play cricket with kids… chat endlessly with friends … n the list goes on…

One thing I must admit … these exams were not easy. The effort I put in for these exams must be equal to the total effort put in by me for all the previous exams (ICSE + ISC + PE 1 + Part 1). And now that I have come out of it with a decent performance I feel really satisfied.

Coming to my plans over the next few days … I plan to see many movies, play a lot of cricket and badminton, read a lot of books, try my hand at the guitar and probably join some NGO so that I don’t waste all my time in just wordly pleasures.

That’s it then … my blog had been dormant for quite sometime now, but now I hope it will be more veracious … keep coming back !!!