The year that was...

Thank God ... 2005 is over

And as the new year comes to life, I too have to make a new beginning... a brand new beginning. In the other blog i was cribbing as to how life had become stagnant and why there were no drastric changes in life and then the change struck and how ... and here I am, confused as to whether I should look back at the year that went by or forget everything and look ahead.

I shall look back for once ... because the year did have many moments to savour, though it was all swallowed up by that one moment.

"Well- let me dive into the depths of time,
And bring out from the year that has rolled
A few small fragments of those wrecks sublime,
Which human eyes may never behold"

[ The context in which the poem was originally written may not fit in this situation, but then, the words certainly do ]

The beginning of the year -

It was fun. I remember the sunday tests. For most CA students, it is the biggest pain in the ass, but we (I and my group of friends) really enjoyed it. They were like weekly picnics ... all of us stuffed in the car, carrying tiffins and going to have ice creams or rolls or chaat after the exam... shall never forget those days.

Sonu Bhaiya also dropped in and we had a great time. Also got my digicam ... the year did start with a bang.

Then came the high of the year ... 25th Anniversary of Mom n Dad. It was simply awesome. The whole family had got together after a very long time. I seemed to have wheels under my feet ... making all the arrangements. The party had a touch of perfection ... the decoration, the food, the ambience, everything was better than what we had planned. And then the adda we had after the party, who can forget that ... n mom n dad singing together ...

Then came the B.Com Part 1 exams and during those days I suddenly started feeling lonely, but once the exams were over, I was back in high spirits. Read a few books, played cricket, watched movies.

By now the time to prepare for CA Inter had come, I was not studying enough, but then it wasn't too bad either. Bhaiya also came in August - September. However did not have too much fun with him as Inter was always there at the back of my mind. In the midst of this all, came another high of the year ... my B.Com results ... 83%, 2nd in the college, n most likely in the University as well. I was on top of the world .

October was a slog... studied harder than ever before, but not without the mid night madness with Rohit Bhaiya on Panchami night.

Then came CA Inter ... n I managed to do decently in almost all the papers. However, those 7 days were real tough days. I had never put in so much effort ever before and literally, I was running on medicines !!!

Post Inter, I was having a pretty relaxed time, until nemesis struck and my world came tumbling down. Since then life hasn't been easy... Anyways, I wont write more on that ...

Concluding ... a year of many highs, but little did I know that a big fall awaited me ...

Anyways ... A very happy new year to one and all!!

In wilderness

All of a sudden, I’ve fallen in a dark maze… I really don’t know what lies ahead of me … I have my sense of direction … I know I have to keep walking … But what is my destination… I don’t know … I just have to keep walking.

There are people to show me the direction, but where’s the hand I was holding, I feel around for it … I just can’t accept the fact that I won’t be holding it anymore … But I want to realize it fast … let the worst come and go … this vague world I am living in is just killing me…

Education system going haywire??

Yesterday I met Mr. Kapadia, one of my teachers at school.

It was quite an experience meeting him. Though I was meeting him after more than two years, he remembered me very well. We had a more than one and a half hour chat and we talked on varied topics – politics, cricket, education, school, discipline, literature, history, etc.

A topic we discussed at length was the system of education in India that is going absolutely haywire. The thirst for knowledge is lacking. The only motivation behind getting an education is getting a good job. Getting a good job is important, but I believe that we should not forget that the ultimate aim of education is not getting employment.

Graduate students appear for management examinations, not because they want to become business administrators, but because after getting an MBA degree, getting a job becomes relatively easier. Management institutes are becoming job generators for the students. In fact, the system of doing MBA immediately after graduation is only an Indian concept. Most of the foreign universities require a decent work experience. This is because, according to them, a student must know what to manage before he specializes in management. Management, according to me, is like icing on the cake, rather than the cake itself.

(many people also tell me that I'll be wasting 3 years by doing articleship and giving C.A. final. I should give CAT, do MBA and get a job. All I need to say to them is that I don't want to become a part of the rat race. My intention behind doing C.A. is not just getting a degree, but becoming a good and knowledgeable professional. I shall try for MBA only after completing C.A.)

At the school level, the academic pressure on students is increasing steadily. There is cut throat competition and only the above average do reasonably well. This is resulting in more and more tuitions. Some personal attention is undoubtedly good, but having 5-6 tuitions makes no sense to me.

However, what hurts me more is the plight of the primary school kids. I hardly ever remember coming back home and studying in my junior school days, except on the days before class tests, and that too may be an hour or something. As a result, we had plenty of time for various other activities and that I believe led to all round development, without attending any special classes or anything.

Nowadays, even toddlers have tuitions in the evenings, which according to me, is the time for playing. There is a continuous pressure of home-works, tests, etc. They hardly find any time for reading, indulging in arts and crafts or play silly games with friends. Parents force their kids to read, as it is supposed to be a healthy habit, and even reading becomes a work for them and they don’t enjoy it anymore. Regarding games, things are getting ‘professionalised’ and kids are sent to clubs for playing. I think that this involves unnecessary effort and time. Playing also becomes a work this way. Playing at clubs can never match the fun of spending evenings with friends playing silly games or doing silly things or discussing silly matters.

Is academic pressure and too much professionalism snatching the trivial moments of bliss of children that they would have cherished all their lives? I definitely think so…

College Life

Writing about a life that hardly existed is somewhat difficult, but still as it is one of the phases of life, I thought I should write something about it, now that it has reached its twilight phase.

First of all, can you believe it … the little kid called Teen is at the twilight of his college life … frankly speaking, I myself can’t digest it. I am undoubtedly very happy that a couple of weeks from now, I won’t have to go to college anymore … there is nothing really pleasing about it, but I am also feeling awkward that another phase of my life is coming to an end … have I really grown up so much? I don’t want to become so big so fast … I haven’t had a proper affair till now … disgusting!!!

Most of the early 1990’s movies and many of them even these days center around college students and their affairs … it is difficult to digest that these movies involved people who are supposed to be younger to me … really weird.

I think I am going of the track… coming back to my college life …

IT WAS BAD…

The worst part about it was the timing – getting up at 5 in the morning day in and day out was painful to say the least. Especially, reaching college before sunrise in January was a disgusting experience. (I really pity the profs)

Then, apart from a couple of teachers, none of the teachers were any good. They just delivered lectures and went away, hardly arousing any interest in the subjects. Special mention must be made of 2 teachers – Mr. Lobwo, who taught us Cost and Tax (200 out of 400 marks) and Mr. Roy, who taught us FMO (50 marks). If I would have studied what they had taught us and gone and given the exams, I would have got 38% instead of 83% in part 1.

In the 3rd year, the pressure of C.A. Inter was always there and going to college was a headache. On one hand we had to study for C.A. and on the other we had the problem of attendance. We could never breathe easy. All that was being taught in the college had already been covered by us, and hence attending college was wastage of precious time.

Apart from that, the administration block of our college was as good as a Government Department, their sole objective being how to make life more difficult for the students. There were always huge queues for stupid things and the attitude of the staff was anything but co-operative. The weirdest thing was that after paying fees in the bank, we had to get it verified in the office. It is difficult to imagine that a huge institution like ours does not follow a computerized system for recording of fees paid by students. There are no computerized records of the marks obtained by us in the internal exams as well!!!

Coming to the junta… I was a clear misfit among the crowd. I basically found that most of the students in my college are extremely self- centered. There is no urge for gaining knowledge … I mean the basic objective behind education is getting a job (or being qualified enough to get a good dowry). Inquisitiveness was completely lacking. I also felt that they do not have much respect for the world around them. I always found people criticizing or mocking others … the basic attitude was “I am the best … the rest are all fools.” Best example was one of my classmates showing off that he had never read a book even in his school library with an air that people who read have such lack in life.

At this moment, I am also criticizing but I can’t help it. College Life was a major disappointment.

[But, side-by-side, I had plenty of tuitions and there I found plenty of good friends, so I never really missed college life. None of my friends at my tuition had the above said characteristics so I got along well with them and had plenty of fun.]

At college, I found a very good friend in Varun and I am really grateful to him for all the company he gave me during those boring hours at college. I also made 3-4 other friends at college and though they are not very close to me, I did have fun with them during classes at times.

That, in a nutshell, was my life at St. Xavier’s College. Just 3 more days or regular class and 5 days of exams and then relief. No regrets that my college life has ended. I can just recall one moment that I shall treasure … the ovation I got when I walked into the class after my Part – 1 results !!