Not been a very long time …
Diwali 2005 was the eve of CA Inter and I remember that I was worried, very worried. It was going to be the toughest examination of my life and the time had come when the hard work of almost 1 year would be wrapped into a small package of 6 days, on which would depend a lot … probably my career. I had never faced failure till then, and it was a well-known fact that the greatest of warriors had fallen prey to this unpredictable enemy. It was this fear of failure that lay at the root of my tensions.
What followed, was something I had dreamt of, but had never expected to come true. I managed to do decently well in all the 6 papers and I knew that the chances of my failure were almost negligible but to end up as the Eastern India topper was a real dream come true.
But as I achieved this dream, I lost something that I had never dreamt of.
Diwali eve 2006. Again I am sitting on that very desk at which I must have been sitting last year, just that, instead of scribbling problems on accountancy, I am writing this stupid blog. I am still worried, very worried, but this time I don’t know about what. It seems that I am fighting an endless battle, but this time the enemy is unknown. I don’t want to be a warrior anymore. I just want to surrender. Probably I am bit tired. But the laws of war do not allow that. I have to keep fighting.
And as I walk over my shattered dreams
Memories draw blood from my heart
The waves of nostalgia hit me on the face
For some weird reason I fail to fall
…
